“During my stint in that organization, I brought in many systems and processes; there was nothing when I joined” –
-this conversation goes on endlessly unless one makes a conscious effort to stop it!
“I helped them a lot when they were in crisis. Of course, now they have grown big” –
-The disappointment is more palpable as the conversation progresses.
“This organization does not understand my value. There are so many other people who want me to join their organization”
-Frustration on lack of respect cannot be hidden.
We often come across such people and regularly hear such comments. It all perhaps comes from several unfulfilled needs. Such people end up boasting about their contributions in an out-of-context manner with irrelevant people. Perhaps such people keep telling themselves “world should have treated me better”!
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- “I should have been respected more”
- “I should have been recognized more”
- “I should have been acknowledged more”
- “I should have been celebrated more”
- “World should have understood me more”
- “Organizations should have utilized more”
More one feels this way, the bigger the sense of disappointment and regret. Primarily because all these expected responses are from others and one has no control over others’ responses towards you. The urge to have others acknowledging you leaves you at the mercy of others. It hurts your ego more when they ignore you more. That is certainly not an empowering feeling!
Instead, a more pragmatic – though it might sound philosophical – approach would be to learn to celebrate internally. Do you know when you truly made a difference to someone or some organization? If you are true to yourself, then celebrate internally and respect yourself. Tell yourself that you are successful in making a difference and your contribution has been meaningful. To acknowledge your contribution or not….let’s leave it to the maturity and wisdom of others. That makes you more self-fulfilled and doesn’t wait for validation from others!
Look forward to hearing from you on your experiences or your approach towards managing yourself in these types of situations.
Author
Dr raj,
