confused

Communication Skills

Four communication mistakes to avoid

We come across quite a few scenes in the movies, which tickle our funny bone. We enjoy when a character acts silly and gets ridiculed on the screen. We have some nice time and walk out of theatre feeling relaxed. But have we seen ourselves in such a scenario where possibly others are laughing at us? Do we have the capacity to enjoy others laughing at us? Are we aware of silly communication mistakes that may have serious consequences. So, here are four communication mistakes that you may want to avoid: Awkward Accuracy: I once heard a speaker who was all well dressed up and was introduced pompously and elevated to the skies. Naturally, the expectations of the audience had gone up. They eagerly looked forward to listen to an inspirational speech. Speaker adjusted his throat and tie; had a glass of water and started with a bold voice. He went on for four straight minute’s nonstop. He was very fluent and confident in what he was speaking. However, he did not notice that the most attentive audience began to look at each other; in a matter of minutes, the speaker could see some change in their faces. They looked confused. He wondered what was going on. Sensing that the matter was going beyond control, the organizer gathered some courage and interrupted the speaker. The eloquent speaker was more than happy to be interrupted, as he was also perplexed with the confusion. The organizer whispered something in his ears, which brought a painful smile on the speakers face. With a pale expression on his face, the speaker said, “Friends, I am sorry for mistaking this to be a conference on biotechnology; I now understand that I am supposed to be speaking about leadership development”. You can imagine how the rest of his talk would have progressed. Barrage of brevity: Once I came across a person who spoke to me for close to half-an-hour emphasizing the importance if brevity in communication. He first started from his college days how they got bored of a lecturer who used to be very repetitive. He narrated how one of his earlier bosses used to prolong the meetings and never finish on tome because he lacked conciseness. He also explained how audience would get distracted if you are not brief and to the point. As he was speaking to me endlessly on the importance of brevity, he did not realize that I was getting distracted and tired of the lack of brevity in his conversation. Confusion in clarity: Try to understand this conversation: “Sir, as you suggested, I approached that person and asked for the information on those things that you asked for. He asked me to get a letter saying so and so needs this information because he is working on so and so project. If you do not provide this thing, he won’t be able to provide that thing. That person will be on leave and so he asked me to come ASAP with relevant signatures. If I cannot get back to that person, then I will have to approach another person. What should I do, sir? His boss who was going through another important e-mail, gently looked up and appeared completely blank.  Deaf Listener: During a conference, one person walked up to me and asked an interesting question – “How important do you feel it is important?” I was about to respond and he quickly added, “I personally feel it is important; if you do not listen, then that shows your disrespect.” I was about to express my views on this statement when he interrupted again and continued, “But I often come across people who do not care to listen to others. What has been your experience?” I began to reply and stopped because he went ahead. “Sorry to say this, even most of the senior people fail to listen. What do you say?” I did not want to say anything, because he would say anyways. Develop self awareness; observe if any of the above silly mistakes slip in your communication; they may look silly, but when sustained and repeated over a period of time, these mistakes do turn serious. This Article was published in HR Mirror Hans India. Follow Dr.Raj on Twitter @drraj29

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You love or you hate … but you need HR!

Try asking this question – “do you like HR department?” You are bound to get mixed responses depending upon their experiences with the HR folks, but there is no denying the fact that you need HR! When are HR people loved? When are they hated? Whenever they meet the expectations of their stakeholders, the HR folks are loved. For example, when a good compensation hike has been announced, all those people who received the hike praise them and say that the HR department is very proactive and keeps the compensation in line with the market. They love HR! What about those who were not given any increment? They say that HR practices are unfair and unprofessional and may feel that practically there is no HR and everything is decided by the line manager while HR ends up as a mere paper pusher. They hate HR! Story has not ended there…. In an effort to keep as many employees happy as possible, if HR department proposes attractive hikes and liberal performance standards (thereby having 0% bottom performers), they are hated by the top management. Yet, stakeholders always need HR. When top management wants to communicate tough messages, they need HR. When employees want the policies to be friendlier, they need HR or when managers want more manpower, they need HR to recruit. How should the HR manager feel? Surely, mixed emotions! Confused focus…. Mixed emotions because they are loved by some and hated by some. Confused because they do not know which stakeholder to satisfy and which stakeholder to ignore. There are built-in contradictions in the expectations of disparate stakeholders. With this confusion, HR managers evolve themselves leaning towards one of these stakeholders. Therefore, we end up seeing HR department that is leaning towards ‘management’ and thereby displeasing the employees; some HR departments leaning towards ‘employees’ and thereby in conflict with the management. Those HR managers who retain their balance and conscience will carry themselves as per the situation and keeping the larger picture in mind and not aiming for popularity!

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